The Reign of Oxymora Oxyclean
The first leader of the ABC Club, Oxymora Oxyclean was feared throughout commercial industry after his take of the crown in May 1999. Early Years of Reign (1999 - 2000) One of Oxyclean's first deeds was donating money to the Jewel Trade, an illegal jewel and cow smuggling trading operation currently controlled by an ugly rat named Sluwqx'n-Maaari. Though this was not an act or program and is scarcely considered part of his rule. The Roman Bottles Act His next atrocity was the Roman Bottle Act, in which he released four whole albums (titled Bottle Blower 1, Bottle Blower 2, Bottle Blower 3, and Lenfi's Spring, respectively) of him blowing into glass bottles. Worst of all, the song "FUN!!!!", co-written by Maxine Lenfi, became a hit, and over 300 people died from their heads exploding from listening to it. This caused the first outrage of this club. The Rainbow Sprinkles Program The second and perhaps most pathetic annoyance of Oxyclean's devise, the Rainbow Sprinkles Program unleashed a team of "Rainbow Agents" who plundered ice cream shops for their rainbow sprinkles. Stolen goods were mushed together in a vat. Soon there was a 1,000-liter tank of rainbow sprinkles. It was also noticeable in the local area that only chocolate sprinkles were available. Middle Years of Reign (2001 - 2002) At this time, to make sure the middle of Oxyclean's reign was marked, he made an act to go with it. His sudden success at this point is often credited to Parasitic Jane. The Middle Years Act This act of horror also hired agents, but "Propaganda Agents". They covered bulletin boards and telephone poles with thousands of papers, all with the message "The Middle of Oxymora Oxyclean's Reign has come! Tell everyone!" Papers were mass-burnt to mark protest against this. However, everyone got bored within two weeks, and it all stopped. Violet-Tiptoe Program An even worse act passed by senior members of the ABC Club. More people were hired, called "Artistes of the Toes", and all were armed with glittery purple nail polish. Barefooted people especially suffered. They had there toes painted purple by the "artistes", and some even fought back, but walked away with violet fingernails as well. Bald Guy Act Oxyclean suddenly became bald shortly after the Violet-Tiptoe Program expired. So an act was passed to make sure he had a collection of wigs. Unskilled barbers called "Shavists" were put out into streets, and shaved the heads of random people. Particularly at risk were old people with old curly hair. After hair was collected, it was brought back to the ABC Club Headquarters and wig assemblers made them into wigs. After the act expired, Oxyclean had over 5,000 different wigs. The Final Years (2003 - 2004) At this point, Oxymora's Reign of Terror fell into trouble. A plunder from the Cluff Company at the ABC Club HQ left him with one wig, named Squiggles. The Anti-Cluff Act Much like the Middle Years Act, this spread propaganda everywhere. However, with the Power of the Internet, words spread faster and more effectively. This sparked rage within the Cluff Company, and trouble was soon to come to the ABC Club... Battle of the Lenfi Basement With a couple of months, an army accumulated outside of the ABC Club. The Cluff Company were ready for revenge. Battle broke out. ABC Club members used nail polish and wet water noodles as defense. Cluff Soldiers had sticks and butterfly nets. After three hours of fighting, Miralynn Cluff herself unmasked the true identity of Oxymora Oxyclean, who was described as "an ugly midget with lots of wrinkles". He ran away crying and was never seen again. THE END! (2004) Once Oxyclean had been defeated, the ABC Club fell into a year of Anarchy. Category:ABC Club